I am...

A stay at home mom. I was a working mom. These are labels that put you in general catagories that everyone can understand. I was a mom, I am still a mom, and I will always be a mom to Abigail. I will vary in occupation, but always a mom. I am very proud of my daughter but really God has made a beautiful, smart, wonderful girl with a huge heart. I get to raise her to be a God fearing and loving woman and watch her grow. But God gets all the credit.

A wife. Since May 3, 2003. There have been hard, good, beautiful, boring, exhilarating, exausting, disasterous, funny and ho-hum days. Really all of life has been wrapped up in my husband. I have submitted to his leadership and have tried to support him as best as I can. But I fail at something every day. The older I get the more I understand that I need to rely on the strength God provides because I can't do this without God. Because I am married to Michael I am a pastor's wife. I am very proud of him and try really hard to support his ministry.

A daughter. This is not a hard role right now. My Dad and his wife Linda are amazing people. It is easy for me to look up to them as role models. My Dad is healthy, and I do not take that for granted. It is always great to visit them, I always learn something.

A church janitor. This is my part time job. Michael helps me because we have been down to one car. We finally got a van this past Saturday that is now a second vehicle that I can drive. So I will probably go on my own from now on. I enjoy cranking up the tunes and caring for our church building. I pray for our church and think about the members when I clean. I enjoy praising God in our beautiful sanctuary when it's empty and it's just me and Him.

An obese person. If you met me that is probably the first thing you would notice. I am self-concious about it. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I have been overweight since I was a child. It is not something that I want to define my life, but it has an effect on everything. I have yo yo'd in my weight over the years but always fat. I've been married for almost 14 years and still do not know why. My husband must see something I don't.

A friend. I love my friends. They are all so different. Sometimes I want to have very mixed parties so some of these people can meet each other. I might have to do that.  I love to listen to and encourage others. I enjoy conversation. I'm pretty goofy and I love to laugh. My best good friend other than Michael is Lori. We have had several adventures over the past 4 years.

I'm a little sister. I'm taller and bigger but always little. My sister has always been there for me. She is quiet, intellectual, cultured, and cool. She is a gormet cook. I am an aunt to her twin boys and a sister in law to her husband. I'm going to blink and those boys are going to be graduating high school. They have grown so fast.

I'm a church member, a family member, and lots of other things.

The most important thing that defines me is: I'm a child of God. His love defines me. He loved me before I was born, loves me now, and will love me for eternity. Not because of anything I have done, or the family I was born into, or anything. He chose to love me when without His Spirit's help I would have rather hated everything about Him and His Kingdom. I was dead.  I was headed for Hell without hope until He saved me. His opinion trumps everyone else's and His Holy Word, the Bible, is where He speaks to me. I want to know what God thinks about everything. I have purposed to make Him first in my heart and to be with Him daily. I want people to know that I love Jesus. He was God incarnate, God and Man at the same time and perfect without sin. He lived 33 years and was publicly executed on a cross. Right before He died he said, IT IS FINISHED. He tried to tell everyone that He was the Messiah, come to save everyone and establish His Kingdom. Nobody understood and we all are responsible for His death. Three days later His body came back to life and He showed the world that He is God. If you believe in Him you will not die and the sin that plagues you will be paid for and FINISHED. I struggle and still sin but am growing more like Jesus than i was before.  You will live forever, either in Heaven or Hell, depending on what you believe. I'm with God, I want everyone to believe in Him and go to Heaven and worship Him forever.  If you talk to me very long this is what is going to come up. I can't help it. People talk about what they love and are interested in. I know God is a touchy subject for most people so I try to make small talk. But I really love to talk about the bible. I guess that's why I love to be in His church with His other children, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Well, that's me. There is a lot more ugly about me that I didn't write, we all do this, wanting to look good.  Most of what I define myself by are my relationships, including my relationship with God. My relationship with myself is the most disfunctional, as I am sure it is for most. I don't know why I am putting this all on a blog but here it is.